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Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Preliminary List Of Candidates For Recall Election.
NO RELATION TO PARTY
Dan Feinstein, San Francisco, no relation to the Sen. Dianne Feinstein
Edward Thomas Kennedy, Trinity, not of that Kennedy family
Michael J. Wozniak, Alameda, no relation to Apple-founder Steve Wozniak
S. Issa, Los Angeles, no relation to recall leader Rep. Darrell Issa
Michael Jackson, Los Angeles, electrical engineer and not a pop music star
Richard J. Simmons, Los Angeles, not the weight-loss guru

SEX PARTY
Larry Flynt, Los Angeles, porn magnate
Angelyne, Los Angeles, actress and buxom Los Angeles billboard model
Mary "Mary Carey" Cook, Los Angeles, porn actress [ Mary doing naked jumping jacks ]

COMEDIAN PARTY
Donald A. Novello, Marin, aka Father Guido Sarducci of "Saturday Night Live" fame
Georgy Russell, Santa Clara, sells "Georgy For Governor" thong underwear
Leo Gallagher, Los Angeles, watermelon-hurling comic
Todd Richard Lewis, Los Angeles, actor and "bum hunter" from Bumfights

FORMER PARTY
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Los Angeles, actor and former champion bodybuilder
Gary Coleman, Alameda, diminutive former child actor
Paul James Nave, Marin, former professional boxer

SPORTS PARTY
Peter V. Ueberroth, Orange, former baseball commissioner
Nathan Whitecloud Walton, San Diego, son of former NBA star Bill Walton


SMOKE EM IF YOU"VE GOT EM PARTY PARTY
Jack Grisham, Orange, frontman for punk band TSOL, aka True Sounds of Liberty
B.E. Smith, Trinity, spent two years in prison for growing marijuana
Ned Fenton Roscoe, Napa, owner of Cigarettes Cheaper chain

NOT DEAD YET PARTY
Mathilda Karel Spak, at 100-years-old is the oldest candidate