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Wednesday, August 01, 2001

www.oreilly.com -- In Memory of Frank Willison
"This morning, the ever-vigilant Boston Herald reported that, on the Riverway, right on my commuting route, a motorist had been attacked by a squirrel, which had leapt out of a tree, through her open sunroof, and onto her head. (Throwing off journalistic restraints, the Herald ran a front-page teaser: 'Psycho Squirrel: crazed critter drops in on pregnant driver.') If this attack was a harbinger of a larger Emerald-Necklace rodent uprising, how much more attractive would I be, with my large reflective head and hunched-over, fully-exposed back, traveling at the speed of easy prey? In spite of these worries, I pressed ahead. God gave Man dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth, and I wasn't going to be the guy who gave it back because of one psycho squirrel."
When I'm dead, please link to my writings at Humor in the News.