Jihaddict: A Skewed View of the War on Terrorism.

Stupid McNupid goes car shopping.

We all live on Megalon 14.
via [ The Ultimate Insult ]

Operation Moon Bin Laden.

Works for me!

Playboy launches playmate dolls.

Each doll, featuring super smooth ``skin'' and Playboy apparel, is 16 inches tall and will sell for $49.99.

Hmm... Why do they need apparel?

Temptation Island 2 - 11/29/01 Review
Temptation Island 2 is one of my favorite TV shows. Last night I laughed with joy as that chick who has already decided that she wants to stay with her boyfriend started yelling at everyone to stop saying bad things about that boyfriend. Yelling is good.

There was a big conflict among the girls as to which boy should be sent home. More yelling. Nice.

Edmundo rocks. He started off on the chair sitting next to that blonde who really likes him. He was kinda tired so he moved over to the bed. She felt a little sleepy too, so she decided to take a rest on the same bed. They talked. He touched her and she moved closer. He squeezed her butt. She squeezed his arm. They drew closer and they kissed. They say they're confused but it doesn't look that way to me.

Next week one of the guys will get a video from his girlfriend that is not appropriate to view in a group. So in the coming attractions, the three other guys leave, and surprise, that yelling chick shows up to talk to him face to face. I wonder if she'll yell at him. It'll be funny if she tells him that she is all done with the show and feels that he is the one for her and that she wants to go home, and then finds out that he wants to stay because he is having too good a time with a girl who lets him control the situation, and that he wants to go on the big final date with her. I hope she yells. That'll be cool.

PopStars2 - 11/29/01 Review
PopStars2 is one of my favorite TV shows. Last night I cried with joy as the finalists were chosen. The excitement was building as the final ten were followed around their homes with cameras and wireless microphones hooked up on their butts. They showed us their bedrooms and said things like, "This is my bed, this is where is sleep." Little did that contestant know that within a few minutes she would be laying on that bed crying her eyes out calling herself a total failure for not being selected as on of the finalists.

That young guy who tore his tendons in his foot was selected but told that he has to stop doing an impression of one of the N'Sync boys or he will be thrown out of the group. He said it would be no problem. Off camera he started working on his O-Town impression.

I was shocked to find out that the Britney Spears look-alike was not chosen. How could you pass up on an ex-XFL cheerleader? More shock followed at the end of the show when we got to see a preview that leads us to believe that one of the chosen members of the group will have to leave. That leaves an opening for who? Answer: The girl that Britney Spears looks like!

Worst Case Scenario Dating & Sex Handbook.

o How to Remove Difficult Clothing
o How to Create Privacy if Your door Doesn’t Lock
o How to Fake an Orgasm
o How to Deal with a Cheating Lover
o How to Have an Affair and Not Get Caught
o How to Survive Meeting the Parents

The Handbook also includes The “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Letter:

Don’t feel responsible—it’s not you, it’s me. My [ busy career / expensive drug habit / intense racquetball schedule / fascination with on-line pornography ] prevents me from committing to a serious relationship.

Not your mother's PONG.

The 17th Sexiest Woman in the Word 2001.

Top Ten Ways Osama Bin Laden Can Improve His Image.

Write a Letter - Read a Letter
Dear Abby started this program where you were asked to write letters to our servicemen and women at the holidays.

This year you can send a letter from the web.

If you're interested you can also read the letters.

Michael Swanwick's Periodic Table of Science Fiction: This week's element is Manganese.

The artists of Lascaux used manganese ores and charcoal to mix their black pigments. Those of the Renaissance used manganese oxide to enrich the brown in their umbers. Manganese blue went extinct in the twentieth century. The twentieth and twenty-first centuries had a lot of artists, most of them bad but all of them wanting the very finest paints. By the time humanity planted its first colonies in deep space, all the best natural pigments had been depleted from the surface of the Earth.

via [ Sore Eyes ]

Before the Goths divided into the Visigoths and the Ostrogoths, their legend says that they originated from a land known as Gothiscandza.

The Great 20th Century Art Scam: or how Arrogance, Greed and Folly Nearly Destroyed 2500 years of Western Art.
via [ random-abstract ]

Design Not Found.

A Somewhat Unhappy Paint-By-Numbers Clown.

Hmm... Not bad for something I did when I was a little itty bitty kid.

A Shoe in the Door.

I actually sent an executive a shoe with a note in it. He was the VP of all Internet operations. I tried to get in to see this guy for three or four months. I called him every day. I sat in his office. I went to see his boss. But I could never get in to see him.

So I sent him my shoe with a note that said, 'Now that I have my foot in the door, will you have lunch with me?,' and I got a call back in five minutes on my cell phone. And we won the deal.

24 – Episode 4 by Sean Weitner.
Sean posts another fine review of 24.

Here's my take, don't read the rest if you hate spoilers, because I tell you who dies in the episode.

My wife came home with 15 minutes left in the episode. I told her that she hadn't missed much, and she watched the last 15 minutes with me.

I told her that we've gotten to know that cop pretty well, so she'll be dead soon. It's just like on Star Trek, but Star Trek never really developed those characters as much as 24 does.

I was also troubled by the father mouthing off to the cop. That didn't fit. He also went away mad after he was released. Another bad move. In the back of my mind I mistrust this guy....

One other thing, I'm surprised that the wife hasn't told Jack Bauer about the call from the daughter yet. That should have been her 2nd call, after her call to 911.

Have you heard about the new Christain novel that's topping the charts?

In Desecration, Antichrist Nicolae Carpathia enters the temple in Jerusalem and declares himself God, leading the world to the brink of Armageddon.

And get this, the book features soft-spoken Chaim Rosenzweig. It's #9 in a series.

The best-selling end-of-time fiction series tells the riveting stories of people who, after the rapture of the church are "left behind" to experience the tribulation and other events prior to Christ's return to Earth. With the prophetic teachings of the Bible as the background, this dynamic apocalyptic fiction has captured the imaginations of millions.

I guess if you're interested, you'd have to start reading the series at Left Behind, which is book #1.

Passengers aboard a Boeing 747 en route to Europe disappear. Instantly. Nothing remains except their rumpled piles of clothes, jewelry, fillings, surgical pins, and the like. All over the world, in a flash, cars are left unmanned. Terror and chaos continues worldwide as the cataclysm unfolds. For those left behind, the apocalypse has just begun.

Wondering if that rapture will soon be upon us? No problem. Consult the Rapture Index.

You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we're moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture.

Looking for something less Christian, more Satanic, try Stephen King's The Stand. One of the best books I've ever read. You can read the first 12 pages of Stephen King's, The Stand, here.

Peace be with you and Joy to the World. Jeremiah was a bullfrog.

George Bush: Newsweek Interview.

“I don’t spend a lot of time theorizing or agonizing,” he said. “I get things done.”

Gary Coleman For US Senate Poster.

High School Terrorists.

After the killing spree, investigators said, the suspects allegedly planned to rendezvous on the school roof, ''party'' with drugs and alcohol, and then take each other's lives with gunshots to the face.

In Jones's bedroom, writings on the wall contained the phrases, ''I hate the world,'' ''Everyone must die,'' and ''Kill everyone,'' according to police reports.

Yesterday, Jones's mother, Susan St. Hilaire, continued to portray the charges as a misunderstanding that has targeted ''great kids.'' Carol McKeehan, the mother of the other two suspects charged, shook her head when asked if she believed her children were guilty.

Hello? Shook her head which way? Up and down or right to left? I'm betting on right to left because she probably had no clue what her kids were up to.

In a message dated 11/27/01 3:39:21 PM Eastern Standard Time, B_MacQuarrie@globe.com writes:

> Shaking one's head is right to left, by my view. Nodding would be up and
> down, at least in New Bedford.

My response:
Not in Albania.
Some Albanian characteristics and mannerisms resemble those of the mainland Greeks, most notably in the more rural areas; for instance, a nod of the head means 'no' and shaking one's head means 'yes'.

If I had a cable modem, Eddie Breen's web page that features his Piggyback Art paintings would load a lot quicker.

But wait! I just ordered a cable modem! I bought a router too! My FLASH friend suggested it.

Happy Days are here again. The skies above are clear again. Let us sing a song of cheer again. Happy Days are here again!

They're writing fiction on the web and putting it all into a small spiral notebook.

When I first met Zeke, I was arranging turnips in the produce case. He tied a red apron around his slender waist, covering up part of his Harley-Davidson T-shirt, shook his head, and said, "This job sucks." Then, opening a case of grapefruit, he said, "That manager's an idiot."

Hmm... That reminds me of the time I was working in Zayre Department store. The announcement came over the PA, "We need baggers to the front!" I ran up to the front as fast as I could because if you weren't fast, you wouldn't get to bag for the prettiest cashier.

American rescued from Taliban-held fort.

Bulletin Board Systems.
In Boston we had this cool BBS where you went into an interactive text adventure and people helped you along in the game.

People you got to know by thier handles. It was a lot of fun.

We also had an online trivia game that allowed free text entry. After the answer was revealed, we all chatted about it in real time. It was fun too.

I also ran a Macintosh BBS called MacBoston and was amazed that people from all over the US dialed in.....

The next thing that was really cool on a national level was Byte Magazine's online service called bix.

I'll always remember fondly Jerry Pournelle's conversations....

24 – Episode 3 by Sean Weitner.

Wow; heroin and lesbian kissing.

Hmmm... I hope that my ignorace, as to which drug it was, is a good thing.

The lesbian kissing though... I had that one nailed.

My High School Reunion
I can't understand why more people don't go to high school reunions. I always enjoy going back to mine.

I have great memories from Lynn Classical High School. We had a good class.

Remember When:

The Band at the school dance was CRAGG ZOPP, and it was made up from a bunch of guys from ZAYRE in Saugus?

We turned THE TERRACE (GE UNION HALL) into a school party on FRIDAY NIGHTS, and you had to be a 'member' to enter?

There was an ice skating rink on Boston Street, and couples skate time allowed you to ask her to hold hands and skate around the rink?

Learning FORTRAN with PUNCHED CARDS was the computer course, and you'd wait a week to see if your program ran correctly over at Lynn Tech, only to get the cards back to find out that you made one typo and had to wait another week to see if your program ran right?

Getting so drunk that the center lines on the street and everything else looked double, but you drove home anyways with one eye closed and didn't think about it too much?

You joined the Ecology Club because you thought it would look good on your College Application?

The advanced Biology class was easier than the regular Biology class?

Mr. Murphy subbed and asked us music trivia questions?

Yes, I did pull out the old yearbook before going back to refresh my memory. I do approve the use of name tags with high school yearbook pictures. They help. And, no ... it's not rude to look down at the person you are meeting's badge to see who they are. I did that a number of times.

At the sign in table I was wondering why I didn't recognize any of the people signing us in. Hey, I had NO CLUE who these people were. Later I found out that they were not from our class. They were registration people.

I was surprised and happy to see a lot of really good friends that I had lost touch with. Now I've got their email addresses and hope to stay in touch.

The DJ was really good, a little loud if you were sitting up close, but his selection of music would put to shame the local Classic Rock station.

I had expected to see a lot of fat and balding people there, but the girls looked great!

McAfee VirusScan 6.0 doesn't support Windows 95b like it says it does on the box.

I thought I was doing a good thing by upgrading my virus protection on my PC, but after talking to customer support over at McAfee, I'm not to sure.

First of all, their email response system stinks. I emailed a question to them, they replied with more questions, I responded with answers to their questions, and got a response telling me that they hope that they had resolved my questions. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.

So I tried thier online support CHAT area. This lead me to a chat with one of their techinicians who after much typing back and forth informed me that McAfee VirusScan 6.0 doesn't support Windows 95b like it says it does on the box. He suggests that I downgrade to version 5.0 or upgrade to Windows 2000.

Nice advice buddy.

OK, now I feel better.

So I was watching MTV yesterday morning with my mother. The Real World was on and she got hooked. She thought that MTV just played music videos. She says, "It's like we're getting a look into these people's private lives. Is this real?" My wife yells in, "No, It's not real."

We went into the heart of Boston and did some shopping to support the economy and while we were down there we took a break to get some Jordan Marsh Blueberry muffins. They are the best. Jordan Marsh isn't around any more, but the guy who made their muffins is. He has a bakery on the South Shore and ships fresh muffins up to a coffee shop between Filene's and Macy's. Some people have posted versions of the recipe here and here and here and here.

At home, I watched the making of O-Town on MTV. It doesn't matter whose lives they show me about, I just keep watching. At 8:30 I switched over to VH1 for the pre-show to the Live On-Tape U2 concert. VH1 was showing U2: Legend. Great story. That was followed by U2's Boston concert. Now that's a band! I recently said that J.Lo beat out Britney, U2 has it all over them by 1,000 times. It's clear that they are one of the greatest rock bands ever. That crowd had a super time.

Some of the concert footage reminded me of when I saw Bruce Springsteen in Atlanta at the Omni. He had every single person in that stadium pumping their fists in unison.

Rock on!

I saw the Diary of P!NK on MTV. You think you know, but you have no idea. I had no clue, but now I have some idea.

She has a diary on her web page too.

Whatever.

"I only did coke to learn the metric system", Lenny Clarke.

My Thansksgiving dreams were answered this year, my cousin Mike brought Alexander Keith's beer from Nova Scotia and my cousin Carrie made a homemade Pumpkin pie!

Keith's beer is so popular up in Nova Scotia that it has it's own fan site. Those who like it, like it a lot!

The pumpkin pie doesn't have a fan site yet, but it should!

The Most NEGLECTED Site On The Web is not too bad for being totally neglected!

Hey Asimo, go grab me a beer while I get comfortable in this chair to watch the football game after stuffing my self at dinner.

H A P P Y T H A N K S G I V I N G !

I must be the last person on the Internet to have found photo.net. Over there you can get the answer to the question: What Camera Should I Buy?

You can also look at people's photos, learn how to take pictures and shop.

While I've got your attention, I'll tell you about a few more silly things I've put up on eBay:

Star Wars Episode I Topps Trading Cards - Watch it again this weekend on TV.
Roger Clemens Topps 1988 ALL-Star Card #13 - Another Cy Young, whatever.
Apple Computer Newton - Set of two stickers - Sometimes being first isn't the best place to be.
Coors Rocky Mountain Sparkling Water Bottle - Maybe they should stick to beer?

On the Home Front.

On a dark night in June four terrorists crawled out of a submarine and up the Long Island, New York coast. A lone coastguardsman on routine patrol saw the four men on a beach. The coastguardsman was unarmed and a bit scared but still asked the men their business.

Daschle Proposes Restrictions on Box Cutters.

Washington, DC - Senate majority leader Tom Daschle called today for a 5 day waiting period for box cutters, nail clippers, and tweezers, saying that it was time to "get serious about our fight against terrorism."

That's Not the Stick Shift, 1957.

Dribbleglass was selected as a Stupid Link on Maxim Online.
They were described as "marginally clever."

One of their favorite sites is ilovebacon.com.

Today's Column at NextDraft: Collateral Improvements.

...freedom and empowerment for the women of Afghanistan is one hell of side effect of our military actions.

Jennifer Lopez vs. Britney Spears: Who's better in concert?
Last night's J.Lo concert, her first, proves that she is the better value for the money. Not that I paid anything to watch those two concerts, but if I did, I'd rather go see Jennifer Lopez.

Why?

She actually sings! Let's put aside all the sexy moves that both artists make on stage. Jennifer Lopez actually sang all her songs. As far as I could tell, Britney Spears only sang one song live. Mostly, Britney sang along with backing vocal tracks throughout her concert.

MY VOTE: J.Lo wins in a KNOCKOUT! J.Lo is a KNOCKOUT!

Rewards for Justice Fund.

With your help, terrorists will learn that Americans are prepared to fund their pursuit and prosecution, no matter the cost.

In case you might have been wondering where the $25 million reward, for information leading to the capture of individuals planning terrorist acts against the United States, is coming from.

No sooner does Microsoft come out with the Xbox gaming system, than someone dissects it and puts up naked pictures showing you what the Xbox looks like without it's cover on.

The Xbox gaming experience itself is unmatched. The graphics details of offerings like "Dead or Alive 3" or "Halo" exceed that of any other console. Gameplay is fluid and seamless and matches arcade level -- if not better than most arcade machines.

via [ random abstract ]

Glenn Harlan Reynolds, a Professor of Law at the University of Tennessee writes the InstaPundit weblog: Ahead of the Curve Since 30 Minutes Ago!

He also produces, writes for, or performs with a number of bands and owns a small record company.

Go visit his site and learn something, even though you won't get any credit.
via [ AintNoBadDude ]

The Sony DRN-XM01H lets you receive XM Satellite Radio over almost any home stereo using AUX or TAPE inputs.

They've got pre-recorded looped samples of their stations on the web site. I almost thought it was a real feed. Too bad it's not. It should be.

"Some very hot" intelligence had been gathered that could lead to the capture or death of bin Laden within days.

That's cool.

Secret CIA Units Playing A Central Combat Role.

The units are part of a highly secret CIA capability, benignly named the Special Activities Division, that consists of teams of about half a dozen men who do not wear military uniforms. The division has about 150 fighters, pilots and specialists, and is made up mostly of hardened veterans who have retired from the U.S. military.

Hmm... I guess they're no so secret anymore.

Buy your own casket direct, and save!

Or at least leave your family this web site address so they can order one after you're gone.

Dr. Daniel Berger saved Drew Bledsoe's life.

Survivor Africa: Why Lindsey Lost by David Bloomberg.

Speaking of Fox's 24, you can take a look at Kimberly's Desktop or Jack's Desktop.

Dinner and a TV Show.
Last night we went to the Dogwood Cafe. It was good as always. Our waitress was awesome. She was very happy. It made our dinner much more enjoyable.

Harpoon Octoberfest was on tap. Rob Gonzalez was playing tunes on the piano and singing.

We had such a great time that we put a few dollars into the jar that was sitting on top of Rob's piano.

When we got home we watched the first episode of 24. I watched it for the second time and my wife watched it for the first time. For me, the second watching was a good as the first. That show is very well done. We had to watch it before 9:00, because that's when Fox was replaying this week's episode. Fox is so smart. I love the fact that they replay this show during the week on both Fox and FX. This week's episode was as good as the first. It also introduced some new twists and turns. I was shocked at some of the violence. Good stuff. It's just enough to keep the story moving.



[ ** Don't keep reading if you haven't seen the episode yet. Spolier follows. ** ]



Taking the dead guy's finger for fingerprinting was something I've never seen before. Shocking. Especialy for network TV.

How about the ending where they whacked that girl's arm with a tire iron? Yikes!

That type of violence and gore is more palatable to me than the stuff they have been showing on ER recently.

Taliban Thwarted by Irreproducible Result.
The Daily Rotten has the details on the Atomic Bomb plans that were found in an Al Queda safe house in Kabul.

Free News! Free News! over at NewsIsFree.

Now you can tune in Off On A Tangent on it's own channel.

Ric Ford's MacInTouch Home Page has been the original Mac News and information site since 1994.

His special reports include:

Audio Recording
iPod
Wireless LAN
Mac OS X reader report
iTunes
PowerBook G4
Apple retail stores
iDVD
iBook 2001
Weather Station HW/SW
Pink Pismo LCD
Mac OS 9.2.1 reader report
VPN Clients
Internet Access Routers
Gigabit Ethernet Performance
Switches and Hubs
Quicksilver Power Mac G4
AC adapter exchange
Titanium PB G4 review
and more...

He sold everything he owns online and then took a trip to visit the stuff. One place he went was P.Puff Industries the worlds largest distributor of rubber bands.

Aid Workers Describe a Dramatic Release

The detainees believed he was a Taliban soldier who might kill them. Instead the soldier stared at them wide-eyed, apparently stunned to find foreigners in the prison. He then shouted, "Azad! Azad!" Free! Free!

Ruhina, a nine-year-old girl, said, "I want to go to school."
via [ Robot Wisdom ]

Eyewitness: The Taliban Undone

Around 900 Pakistanis were surrounded in a girls' school, Sultan Razinya, in the southeast of the city. Over three days, the Alliance commanders — Ustad Mohammed Atta, General Rashid Dostum and Haji Mohammed Mohaqiq — say they tried to persuade the Pakistanis to surrender. The Pakistanis refused. By Tuesday afternoon, the commanders had exhausted their patience, and warned civilians living in the area to move away. Then they attacked, and the fighting lasted four hours. The Alliance took just 175 prisoners.

Hmm... So that's the rest of the story.

Noah Grey is writing again.

Wil Wheaton is not the Weakest Link anymore, he's going to have a role in the new Star Trek X movie.

Tide Turns With Aid of Defections.
via [ CSM Daily Update ]

Imus: They're shaving their beards in Kabul, bringing up their TV's from the basement and flying kites. Al Gore shaved his beard.

An old man danced in the street, holding a small tape recorder blaring music.

Some of the first Special Ops photos from this weekend.

F*ckedworld.com: When everything's going to hell, cynicism is the only sane response.

OpineBovine.com: What a Silly Cow.

One in 5,000 chance of asteroid causing human extinction.

Most powerful meteor storm to hit in decades heads for Earth next weekend.
via [ Drudge ]

The International Central Services Toaster Museum.
via [ Site du Jour of the Day ]

Mmm... Toast!

VWvortex.

Bin Laden: Yes, I did it.

In a previously undisclosed video which has been circulating for 14 days among his supporters, he confesses that "history should be a witness that we are terrorists. Yes, we kill their innocents".

In the footage, shot in the Afghan mountains at the end of October, a smiling bin Laden goes on to say that the World Trade Centre's twin towers were a "legitimate target" and the pilots who hijacked the planes were "blessed by Allah".

Bin Laden: Served Tea, bread and jam to journalist Hamid Mir.

After an hour and 40 minutes, tea, bread and jam were served. Then bin Laden left and Mir's guides indicated that it was time for him to leave. He was rolled up in a blanket and driven back to Kabul, where he was told to make his own way out of Afghanistan.

Hmm... I wonder if he got to keep the blanket?

American Crusade 2001 Trading Cards.

Like the Topps trading cards, only bitter.

I found a dead squirrel in my garbage can. Should I leave it there until trash day on Tuesday?

These squirrel haters would probably say yes.

Do you like Doritos, Cheetos, Rold Gold Pretzels and Sun Chips? Good news. Frito Lay just combined them all into one snack mix called Munchies.

Kenneth E. Hall says he developed the strategic marketing plan for the US launch of Frito-Lay Munchies snack mix, with expected annual sales of $40 MM, while a Brand Management Summer Intern .

Hungry Now? Grab something at the Web's Virtual Snack Machine.

Clinton's Next Step: Buy the Red Sox.

So come to Boston, Mr. President. Take over our baseball team. Bask again in promises unkept, potential wasted, and the adoration of a crowd whose love will always be unrequited.

The Bose Wave Radio Infomercial.

Consumers are like gazelles. Marketeers are our predators. Smart gazelles are advised to take a look at the tactics that the Bose Wave Radio infomercial deploys — if you're in their sights, they'll mess you up.

This is the coolest review of a TV commercial I've ever read!

24 - Episode 1.

I'm not sure how well all this split screen works. I commend the audacity of the filmmakers to try it, and, to be sure, having two cameras capture the same movement is proving to be effective at a strictly graphic level. I doubt we can expect transcendent use of split screen, but, again, points for audacity.

I liked both the show and this guy's review. He used transcendent and audacity in the same sentence.

Getcha Cool Dog, Getcha Cool dog heah while they're cold.

OK, here's and idea. Instead of selling hot dogs, let's freeze ice cream in the shape of a hot dog and put it into a cake-like bun and sell those.

Plop is an experimental comic by Scott Adams.

Over the summer I was experimenting with a Dilbert spin-off comic strip about a little boy and his pig growing up in the clueless country of Elbonia. Unfortunately this isn't a good time to launch a comic featuring people who look like the Taliban. So it's on the shelf, probably permanently.

The main character is a little boy named Plop. He's the only Elbonian who has no bodily hair. In Elbonia, even the women and babies have full beards, so everyone naturally thinks Plop is slow.

Hey Scott... go for it. Funny is funny! Mel Brooks would tell you to do the strip. Look what he did to Hitler.

America needs you Scott Adams, now more than ever!

Qxprint.

Qxprint essentially turns your wireless Palm(tm) handheld into a remote control and transmits selected documents from your PC to anyplace in the world.

Well, not exactly FROM your PC, but you might find this helpful.

Laugh Lab is part of Science Year and is the largest scientific study ever into humour.

We want you to submit your favourite jokes and judge how funny other people's jokes are by using our special "Laughometer" .

via [ Site du Jour of the Day ]

I think this one is funny:

Billionaire Michael Bloomberg won the New York mayoral election.

Now that he has the job, he's just going to pay Giuliani to do it.

There's more topical humor at my Humor in the News website.

Taliban Phone Call with graphics.
via [ 3 bruces ]

Remote Control.

This weekend, key Bush advisor Karl Rove will travel to Hollywood to discuss ways in which the entertainment community can help America during these stressful times. Specifically, the Bush administration would like Hollywood to produce more material that depicts positive values such as patriotism, courage and tolerance (this apparently would require a departure from the slightly more popular topics honed during years of viewer studies; sex, violence and more sex).

What's next, President Bush standing behind a camera shouting "Let's roll 'em!"?

In the meantime, here are a few of the new wartime slash feel-good slash tolerant shows being pondered as Spring
season replacements:

Rumsfeld - A Seinfeld-like show featuring Secretary Rumsfeld and his zany friends.
In this case, the show is actually about 'something', they just can't tell us what.

Buffy the Vampire Mediator

Just Shoot Me - Similar to the current show except most of the parts are played by Al Qaeda
operatives (David Spade stays on in his current role).

Ben Brown is Ani's fiancé and is writing TV! TV!.

The show starts out with twelve cast members. Tonight, I've watched three of them get laid. I haven't had sex in, let me check my watch. Three years. But I write a television show. I guess that's the trade off...

Sounds like he's working on a show I might be interested in.

The Animoller Website.

Then the woman proceeded to tell me how there were tasmanian devils in New Zealand, along with some variety of extinct huge dog with a head like an alligator.

I gave her a slight look of disdain, and tried to explain that a) there are no native mammals in New Zealand, b) tasmanian devils are in Tasmania, c) Tasmania is in Australia, not New Zealand, d) Australia and New Zealand are different countries. The woman then argued with me, saying that she saw it on TV.

Hello? I'm from New Zealand! It's not like there's a chance you might be right and I might be wrong.

Ani's #1 this month, on phome's list of The World's 10 Best Web Sites!

She also won Top On-line Personality in the The NZ Internet Awards for 2001.

She came over for our date early. I was calling the local TV stations to see if Bush was going to delay my TV shows. They told me they were going to delay Survivor by 30 minutes, but that Popstars and Tempatation Island were going to be shown at their scheduled time. I taped those shows and figured I could catch the Survivor recap on the net. Maybe something will be posted here sometime soon? I wish these stations would replay their shows later in the week. It's a good idea that some of the cable stations have already adopted.

Our first stop was the Auto Show. The Ford Thunderbird is all sold out for this year. But you can still pick up an Aston Martin if you've got the cash. The Mercedes wagon was cool, as was the Lexus 430, the convertible hardtop puts itself into the trunk in 25 seconds. We saw a really old Jaguar, too bad the new design only hints at the original design.

Next we went to an opening party for blu, a new restaurant in town. Free hors d'oeuvres and wine made it a fun time. It's right in the same complex at Sports Club/LA, still the best place in Boston to meet beautiful women.

Got home in time to see the end of Survivor from 8:45 to 9:00, but I don't understand why it wasn't delayed like the local CBS station told me it was going to be. I see from CNN that they bumped Bush. Oh well.

When I looked at my VCR, I saw that it taped the wrong channel. I'm bummed. My cable box supports three digits, like 007 for 7, but the VCR can only control two. Stupid VCR.

9:00 came and I sat down for a happy hour of Temptation Island. Now some of those girls are hot!

Blowback.

Here are a few links that were either in today's New York Times, or were links that I wandered into after following other links:

Sit at the Netsurfer and you can wrap your legs around a big box of power while you surf.

Beef: It's what's rotting in your colon. Yikes!

Tolkien Sarcasm Page. Really.

http://thisisthelongestsilliestmostridiculousinternetaddressintheworld.com/.

http://wemadeoutinatreeandthisoldguysatandwatchedus.com/

Maybe the previous two sites need to use Make A Shorter Link. Maybe not.

Man Eats His 18,000th Big Mac.

For nearly 30 years now he's eaten at least one Big Mac every day, only missing eight times.

"The main reason is cause I love them so much. Big Macs are my favorite food. They've been my favorite food for nearly 30 years now. I never get sick of them and I look forward to them every day," he said.

Maybe he can go on a picnic with the Subway guy. I wonder if the New York Subway Guy would be interested?

The World's 100 Best Real People Websites.

I'm 29th!

Prehensile Tales, ranked #1, are stories, meanderings & thoughts that are short enough to read while your boss ain't looking and funny enough to make you piss your pants. These are some of his Favorite Tales:

SEX & PORN
Let's Talk About Ron Jeremy
Boobs
Springtime in my Trousers
Bancock Sex Report
Superhero Sexual Disfunction
Different Strokes
Juli in a Box
Porn Online 1/2/3/4/5
The Perils of Penis Measuring
Helping Me Have Orgasms
Speaking of Dignity
Too Much Porn
SuperMarket Smut
Doggy Style
Wrestling Vs. Porno
Family Circus Sideshow

Minor Annoyances and What They Teach Us.

Part I. Dysfunctional Institutions

(1) U2
(2) Starbucks
(3) The "New Report Out Today" That Isn't On the Web
(4) Untraceable Spam
(5) Cell Phone Companies' Service "Plans"
(6) Ritual Humiliation of People Who Ask Questions at Public Talks

Part II. Abuses of Language

(7) Business Jargon in Government
(8) Trend-Mongering
(9) The Language of the Staff in Computer Stores
(10) Op-Ed Columns That Make No Sense
(11) Left-Wing Discouragement and Disempowerment
(12) "Generation X"
(13) Subscribers Who Irrationally Flame Me Out of Nowhere
(14) People Who Write Me Snippy Little Notes Saying "Unsubscribe"

Part III. Cliches

(15) The Fake Little Laugh That Screams "Bad Acting"
(16) The Word "Aggressive" Used As If It Were a Good Thing
(17) Anything Called "The Insider's Guide"
(18) Being Told "I'm Sorry You're Having Problems"
(19) The "Thoughtful Executive" Cliche in Business Ads
(20) Stereotyped Rhetorical Questions in PR Jargon
(21) Advertisements That Say "Over 43" When They Mean "44"
(22) Meaningless Technical Phrases on Consumer Electronics Gear
(23) "We're Being Asked to Do More With Less"

Part IV. Bad Design

(24) Bad Information Design in Scholarly Books
(25) Computers That Can't Learn What Needs to Be Swapped In
(26) Dryers in Commercial Laundromats
(27) Useless Rubber Buttons on Remote Controls
(28) Air Intake Vents Next to the Loading Dock
(29) Hotel Minibars
(30) Value-Added Marketing

Hmm... I guess that about covers it!

David Gergen spoke about playing the role of the National Security advisor in Operation Dark-Winter, a study in biohazard response, on 96.9 FMTALK this morning:

Presented with a small outbreak of Smallpox. 12 day timeframe played out. What are you going to do?

Mobilzed National Guard, closed airports.

Like secondary smoke. One of three people die.

Within days it spread over the US and into other countries.

Warfare on border of Oklahoma and Texas to get away from it.

It was a nightmare.

"We totally lost control of the disease."

More details about Dark Winter can be found here.

Enduring Freedom Picture Trading Cards.

Kids need to understand that the President (and his team) will keep them safe and that evil-doers will be punished. Our cards deliver the details in a medium with which they are familiar and comfortable.

Hey Kids! Collect 'em all!

The war will start only after the US deploys ground troops.

The mistake the US made was to misjudge the Afghan character. They thought they could scare the Afghans with all their expensive weaponry. But the Afghans are tough as nails, and cannot be scared. You can go on killing these Afghan Pashtuns, but they will not bend till they are all killed.

via [ Doc Searls Weblog ]

RageBoy.

...what interests me most about weblogs is (you should forgive the expression), memic propagation and amplification.

You too can join in on all the fun by following the Action Man's directions.

Help find Molly Bish.

On Nov. 9, the 500th day of her disappearance, Molly Bish's mother, Magi Bish, will send e-mails that feature a picture of Molly Bish, details about the case and a plea asking anyone with information to call police.

ernieXQ.

Hey, kids! I've got a great idea: Why don't we pass a law requiring that you recite the Pledge of Allegiance every day during school?

Gwyneth Paltrow's Personal Ad.

ABOUT ME: Likes to get naked. "I'm a very sexual person."

SEEKS: Tall and thin but muscular, to start with the superficial. A gentleman. Someone who's well-educated, funny, witty, artistic and has a lot of integrity. He doesn't have to grab all the attention in the room. A good kisser.

Hmm... I am working out regularly, does that count?

'Graduate' to Appear on Broadway.

Kathleen Turner will play the seductive older woman... Jason Biggs of "American Pie" fame will portray Benjamin Braddock, the young man she seduces. Alicia Silverstone co-stars as Mrs. Robinson's daughter, Elaine, the role played in the movie by Katharine Ross.

Hmm... Plastics.

I asked Eric to give me some answers to questions we might get at Pub Trivia tomorrow night, because he can't make it. He's our history guy, so he gave me these answers, without the questions.

I googled the answers and linked to what I think are the right questions.

Bismarck.
1870.
Princip.
Treaty of Versailles.

If you have any thoughts, please share them by using the comments link below.

Urbane Legends.

This babysitter was so stoned, she forgot to put a blanket on the baby and it was chilly.

via [ Pop Culture Junk Mail ]

I had a Big Juicy Burger at The Linwood Grille today for lunch. Wow, that thing is juicy.

The people I had lunch with weren't aware that they made fun of Massachusetts Governor Jane Swift on Ally McBeal last night. In the episode, Swift gave Ling a Judgeship because Ling admired Swift's twin babies. Nice jab!

Survivor: Why Linda Lost.
Surviving Africa, Episode 4: Linda Cracks.

Popstars 2, Episode 3: Dancing Machines.

NewsIsFree gives you lots of news for free. Ha Ha.

Check out their offbeat news summary.

Comics, Muslim and Jewish, Sharing a Toronto Stage. [ nytimes requires free registration ]

"Osama bin Laden says that all good Muslims should kill Americans," declared Mr. Esmer, a 22-year-old Canadian comedian who was born in Turkey and raised by secular Muslim parents.

"I feel guilty telling the guy behind me in the movie theater to stop talking. Where does Osama think I would find the confidence to kill someone?

I try to be a good Muslim, but it's tough just not eating pork. I mean, the McRib is so —— oh well, at least I have my wives."

Are You A Blogaholic?

You are a dedicated weblogger. You post frequently because you enjoy weblogging a lot, yet you still manage to have a social life. You're the best kind of weblogger. Way to go!

I got this from Evan.

Blowback . . . when wartime decisions come to haunt the people that made them.

How 'The Simpsons' Survives.

One morning last July ... I made my way to the sound stage where a new episode called ''Blame It on Lisa,'' in which the Simpson family heads off to Brazil, was being taped.

The actors who play the Simpson family -- Julie Kavner (Marge), Dan Castellenata (Homer), Yeardley Smith (Lisa) and Nancy Cartwright (Bart) -- were dispersed in a wide semicircle behind microphones, their scripts on stands in front of them like musical scores. Hearing those familiar voices without the mediation of my television speaker, I found myself transported into a two-dimensional world of supersaturated color whose dominant hues were pink, yellow and blue.

Hmm... Donuts... I mean... Really good article about the Simpsons.

What happened when the Special Forces landed in Afghanistan?

Pentagon: It didn't happen.

God's Debris: A Thought Experiment (amazon.com link) by Scott Adams

...nations are arming themselves to fight for control of lands they consider holy. They are trapped in the delusion that locations are real things, not just fictions of the mind. Many will die. [ full text here ]

Hmm... Scott knows everything.

Taliban invites Bush, Blair for a duel.

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (UPI)-- Afghanistan's ruling Taliban militia on Monday proposed a duel among President George W. Bush, British Prime Minister Tony Blair and its leader Mullah Mohammad Omar.

"The Americans have launched propaganda that Mullah Omar has gone in hiding, so I will propose that Mr. Blair and Mr. Bush should take Kalashnikovs and come to a specified place where Mullah Omar will appear with the Kalashnikovs to determine as to who will run," Taliban Foreign Minister Maulvi Wakil Ahmed Mutawakil was quoted as saying by Iran's IRNA news agency.

Hmm... Let's send Tom Cruise in one of those Mission Impossible face masks that could make him look like Bush. Pierce Brosnan can go as Blair. Richard Dawson could host the worldwide broadcast.

It's Guy Fawkes Day.

If you missed the Emmy telecast last night, E! has a Blow-by-Blow description.

... the Emmys are a great night because "what would bug the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews?"
-Ellen DeGeneres

Afghan odyssey: Few roads, many guns.

I couldn't help thinking that despite a decade of deployments from the Gulf War to Kosovo, American forces have seen nothing like this.

In Afghanistan, most roads are single track... this was no place to squeeze an American Humvee.

I made Baked Dijon Salmon last night from a recipe I found at All Recipes. It came out great.

They also have a section on Thanksgiving.

Now you can add Related Links to Off On A Tangent. Maybe you want to promote your own site, add a link that relates to a link I linked to, get it? Have fun!

National Weather Service Implements a New Wind Chill Temperature Index.
Wind Chill Calculator.

Sleet, blinding sandstorms, and snowfall have combined this week to frustrate military officials who are trying to land additional ground troops to coordinate with Northern Alliance soldiers and to identify targets for US bombers.

Hmm... I thought winters in the Northeast were bad.

Charter Member - Batman and Robin Society

Jordan Cool When Chips Are Down.

Several guards and dealers in or near the pit say Jordan had lost the $500,000 he started with.

For Red Sox Fans: The New York Yankees Fan Club Application
via [ Bill Simmons ]

PopStar 2 Picks: 3rd Round Callbacks
Will Jackie Salvucci make it?

The Simpsons Top 100.

Includes Simpsons Sites like:
A Home For Lenny
Duff-Brewery.co.uk
Clerk Apu
The Simpsons Folder
Little Miss Springfield - Lisa Simpson

Here are 200+ URL's about the war.

If your eyes aren't too tired after reading those stories, here are some more URL's on topics unrelated to the war.

Want more? Check out Red Rock Eater Digest.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. I speak, by the way, not with any sense of futility, but with a panicky conviction of the absolute meaninglessness of existence which could easily be misinterpreted as pessimism. It is not.

— Woody Allen

via [ butoh babe ]

We had some cute kids come to the house for Halloween last night. At 7:00 we decided to go to dinner. I made a little sign and put it out on the porch with our candy. It said:

Please take one.
Ari Fleischer is watching.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I hope at least one of the parents got it.

Smart people are talking about important stuff on townhall.com.